It has never been easier to gain followers, and never been harder to find a leader worth following.
In a world of personal brands and creator platforms, you can build an audience in a few months. You can’t build character that fast. And sooner or later, everyone who leads discovers that influence without character doesn’t last. It just takes longer to collapse.
So before you ask, “How can I lead?”, ask a harder question:
Would I follow me?
The Mirror Test
Answer these quickly, as a follower:
- Would you follow a leader who lies?
- Would you follow an unfaithful leader?
- Would you follow an arrogant leader?
- Would you follow a leader who neglects his or her personal hygiene?
- Would you follow a hot-tempered leader?
- Would you follow a leader who lacks self-discipline?
- Would you follow a leader who dishonors his or her parents?
- Would you follow an ignorant leader?
- Would you follow a leader who is unstable and undependable?
- Would you follow a leader who has no vision?
Easy. No, no, and no.
Now read the list again, and answer it about yourself.
That second reading is where leadership actually begins.
The Wrong Question
Many of us feel something stirring inside: a sense that we have the capacity to influence people and make a real difference in their lives. That desire can be good. Paul wrote that whoever aspires to lead in the church desires a noble task (1 Timothy 3:1).
But the first question we usually ask, “How can I lead and grow my influence?”, is the wrong place to start. The better questions are harder and quieter:
- What do I actually have to give?
- Am I trustworthy?
- Have I done the hard work of building discipline?
- Have I gathered real experience, or am I only book-smart?
This isn’t self-sabotage. It’s honesty.
Title or Essence?
Many of us prepare for leadership from the outside in. We read every book on the subject, collect quotes, and try to fit ourselves into one leadership style or another, while very little changes on the inside. Then the moment comes, and we discover that knowing about leadership is not the same as being someone worth following.
The preparation that matters is inner work: character, discipline, wisdom, emotional maturity, practical skill, and a growing walk with the Lord.
The preparation that matters is inner work: character, discipline, wisdom, emotional maturity, practical skill, and a growing walk with the Lord.
James warns that not many should become teachers, because those who teach will be judged more strictly (James 3:1). He is speaking about teaching God’s Word, and that responsibility is weighty for a reason: if the Word is twisted, it can alter someone’s spiritual walk.
Everyday leadership is not the same calling. But the principle carries over. Whenever we teach, guide, or influence someone, whether we shape what they know, how they see the world, or what they choose to do, we carry real responsibility for where we lead them. That is worth taking seriously. Have we prepared ourselves accordingly?
John Maxwell draws a helpful distinction between types of leadership in The 360° Leader: positional and influential.
Positional leadership comes from a title someone gives you.
Influential leadership flows from who you are, and it can be exercised from anywhere in an organization, not just from the top.
Influential leadership often comes before positional leadership. It is our playing field, the place where our character is tested long before any title arrives. Every day it asks the same question: Am I becoming someone worth following?
Staying true to your calling matters, but it isn’t enough on its own. Character doesn’t grow by accident. It is built through hard, deliberate work every single day. When that work is done faithfully, leadership follows.
Leadership is not an end goal; it’s a side effect.
A High Standard
The list in the Mirror Test isn’t random. When Paul describes the kind of person who should lead in the church (1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1), the picture looks remarkably similar: someone with a good reputation, faithful, self-controlled, sensible, respectable, welcoming of others, able to teach, gentle rather than hot-tempered, humble, and not driven by money.
Be honest: who meets that standard on their own? I don’t. The way I read it, it’s a picture of the character of Jesus, and that’s what makes it both humbling and hopeful.
Becoming Like Him
Here is the hopeful part. I believe God’s purpose for our lives is to make us more like His Son (Romans 8:29). That means leadership isn’t about building a better version of ourselves by sheer effort. It’s about cooperating with what God is already doing in us, through every circumstance and season.
It also means God isn’t looking for flawless people. Moses had a temper. David failed badly. Peter denied knowing Jesus. Each of them was shaped over time, often in the very places where they were weakest. Joseph was tested again and again; he was faithful in small things long before he was trusted with big ones. As Jesus put it, whoever can be trusted with little can be trusted with much (Luke 16:10).
So the real question isn’t “Am I perfect?” It’s this: Am I honest about the weaknesses God has shown me, and am I actively working on them?
To me, self-awareness is a form of stewardship. If you know you struggle with honesty around money, the wise move is not to put yourself in charge of the finances before you’ve dealt with it.
Leadership starts with your character. To be a good leader, you need to be self-aware and honest about your strentghs as well as shortcomings. It’s not about who you are today, but about who you are becoming. Become the leader you would follow.
The Inner Work
So what does that look like day to day? Proverbs offers a simple answer:
“The Law of the Lord is a lamp, and its teachings shine brightly. Correction and self-control will lead you through life.”
– Proverbs 6:23 (CEV)
Correction and self-control. I can’t manage either on my own, and I don’t think anyone can. But here is what has helped me:
- Spend time alone with God every day. God is your source, your Father, and desires a relationship with you, so make room for Him daily. Build simple daily habits of prayer and reading Scripture. The closer you draw to Him, the more you’ll know Him deeply and personally.
- Reflect on your seasons, especially the hard ones. Don’t waste a season of trial; it is often a season of growth. If you’re quick to anger, you’ll likely find your patience tested again and again. Look back at how you responded and ask whether that’s how Jesus would have responded. If not, you know what to work on. If so, look a little deeper.
- Keep growing in self-awareness. Be proactive. Paul urges us to examine ourselves (2 Corinthians 13:5). Test your character against the Scripture, recognize your weak spots, and ask God to help you let go of habits that don’t reflect Christ.
- Wait purposefully. Change never happens overnight, and patience is itself a leadership trait. But waiting isn’t passive. Build good character when no one is watching. Work diligently when no one expects you to. Show empathy when no one is praising you. This isn’t about earning anything; it’s about using the waiting well.
Sometimes God places us somewhere before we feel ready and grows us along the way. Other times, He nudges us to work on something long before we understand why, and only later do we see what He was preparing us for. Either way, the posture is the same: a more Christ-like character, the qualities of which will bleed into every area of our lives.
The hardest part is not knowing what’s coming. What has carried me through that uncertainty is peace:
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
– Romans 8:28 (NIV)
Even with that peace, I’ll be honest: learning to wait is one of the hardest things I’ve had to learn. Step by step, little by little.
Five Years Later
I first wrote this article in 2021. Since then, I’ve grown as a leader, and I’ve learned that leadership in the corporate world often looks very different from what we picture.
Much of my influence today comes not from a title but from doing my work as an individual contributor faithfully and well. Maxwell’s idea of leading from the middle, influencing those above you, beside you, and around you, has proven true in my own experience. I’ve found that I can only be a trustworthy leader when I’m diligent in the work right in front of me. Influence that lasts doesn’t need a position. It’s built in small, unseen moments of faithfulness.
Start Where No One Is Watching
Leadership starts with you, and it starts now. Not with a title, a platform, or a following, but with the quiet, faithful work of becoming who God created you to be.
So go back to the Mirror Test one more time. Pick one question that made you pause, and bring it to God today.
That’s where leaders are made: where no one is watching.